kindred spirit

Mayor McKook

Dear Anthony,
Why no comments you wuss?

Signed,
Gaz.

Dear Mayor of Kookville,
Do me a favor, you focus on reigning supreme over Kook City. I'll focus on giving advice.

P.S. Comment as you see fit...kook!

Attitude Adjuster

I got a new tat. Kum Bah Ya Bitches.

have it your way kook.

Dear Anthony,
Why do McDonalds breakfast burritos cost so much? They are like almost $2 each, but they are small. the Sausage McMuffin with Egg is only $1.25 and are like twice the size of the burrito.

Signed Argillaceous Essence.

Dear lithified mud kook,
Your lame valley question is the essence of mud butt. Eat what ever piece of shit you want as long as it isn't in my central coast McDonalds. If you show up to my McDonalds blasting your shitty music with stickers on your car you will be banned from all McDonalds south of P.C.

P.S. In the last few years sensing a change in public sentiment regarding a healthy diet (and fad ones e.g. Atkins) McDonalds and other "fast food" chains have attempted to provide some "healthy" choices. Unfortunately, McDonalds has decided to be opportunistic and charge a premium for these alternatives. Hope this helps explain!

Central Coast Haiku

Central coast locs rise,
The time is now localize
Ticket punched no surprise.

-tony

Dear Anthony,

I'm a rich, recently retired southern Californian who has a summer home in Bandon. How come ever time I fly up there in my plane the surf at Bastendorf sucks? You're a hardcore Cooze Bay Loc, could you do the right thing and tell me when the surf is good so I don't waste my time coming up there? A few of my neighbors from the 'Bu are looking to purchase some summer mansions as well, but they think Bandon is a few ticks down from their standards. Any insider information on a more upscale central coast location?

Thanks in Advance, and guess what?, we have the same name...Cool.

Tone

Dear Tone deaf Kook,
RESPECT THOSE WHO MUST LIVE HERE. IT ISNT AS EASY AS IT LOOKS. Jesus H Kook! Are you really as stupid as you seem? I am straight OR central coast yo! Are you kidding? I could have retired to alot of places, I chose a place that is hard! Keep your stupid kook comments to yourself k?

P.S. If Bandon doesn't suit your fancy check a little further south. There's a hoppin' music scene and some boss skating. I'm a loc there to. Sometimes I get together with the homies down there to skate and jam some old Social D, ya know Social Distortion for the uninformed (cause I'm old school...*wink*).

D.I.Y.K. (Do it yourself Kook)

Dear Anthony,
Do you have a secret recepie for making your own surf wax?
If so would you care to share it?

Signed,
Pikey

Dear Pikey,
I smell valley kook. Hey kook I have an idea, why don't you come to the central coast and so we can smoke your stupid kook-azz. Kook! Make your own wax? Why bother, valley kooks just give wax to us locs!

P.S. Here are a couple of great recipes for making your own wax, and if you put a little food coloring in it can really add a nice splash of color to that white board that keeps things under the radar *wink*.

Basic Surf Wax
Here are the ingredients:

Paraffin Wax
Microcrystalline Wax
Petroleum Jelly
Adhesive (Vistenex)
Small amounts of Scent and dye if you want a nice look / smell
Take all the ingredients and melt them down together at around 100F in the following proportions.

60-70% Paraffin
15-20% Microcrystalline
5-10% Petroleum Jelly
5-10% Adhesive
(Dye and Scent)

The reason that there is a range of percentages above is so that you can vary the mixtures to suit the water temperature in your region and the stickiness of the wax.

To adjust for temperature:
Warmer Water Temperature: Increase the amount of wax and decrease the amount of petroleum.
Colder Water Temperature: Increase the amount of petroleum and decrease the amount of wax.
The Microcrystalline wax and Vistenex give it the "stickiness".

Organic Surf Wax
Here are the ingredients:
Beeswax
Coconut Oil
Tree Resin

The mixture is 3 parts Beeswax, 1 part coconut oil and 1 part tree resin. Make in the same way adding the beeswax coconut oil and tree resin together and stirring well.
First melt the wax, then warm the oil and stir into the wax. Stir well, stir some more and then stir(get the idea!). Pour into Paper cups and let it set.
There is a temptation to use other vegetable oils. Don't bother. Coconut is the one.

P.S.S. If you use the organic formula it's also a great sun tan lotion!!! Just look at the results that I have had.